This year I had the pleasure of a solo holiday all the way from England to Mexico in order to soak up some warmth in the earlier part of the year. On this holiday I had no plans of doing anything other than relaxing. March was cold here, like it always is. There was the added snow to add to the flavour, it was a frosty -4c (24f) when I headed out on my way to Latin America, arriving to a pleasant 29c (84.2f) with a gentle breeze.
I was treated to the aerial display of the Magnificent Frigatebird among other wildlife. I love a bit of ornithology when I'm abroad.
The holiday was freedom for another reason. Birdwatching being the theme. I had gone to watch the non-aviary type of bird, crudely put, those with more breast and less wing.
I was sitting on a beach chair getting quite warm on one of the sunnier days (there were a few overcast days in sunny Cancun during March). One of the hotel money making schemes was to bring certain individuals who were dressed up to the patrons, bar flies and lost and confused. These jackals would patrol the swimming pool and beach area preying on victims to snap photos with. The common victim was those families with kids, whose pictures would be ready at the picture booth out front (for exorbitant sum).
I was treated to a ring side seat on one of these occasions. It really was a treat. It was the first time I was introduced to two divine femme fatales. Lodged firmly in my memory banks (not lodged anywhere else sadly).
The Mexican camera-man quipped to me; “I won’t charge you for this show.”
In truth I would have happily paid.
Two beautiful American ladies presented themselves for snaps. Man alive. Man alive. Man alive. They were in beach camouflage. Bikinis to be precise. These girls had almost colour co-ordinated as well. Extra marks.
The Floor Show
Parrot handler extraordinaire had two beautiful parrots to drape on these silky beauties. One of these two parrots had a particular enjoyment of being a dick and grabbing the arm of the pair of sunglasses people were wearing. This happened to one of the heavenly beauties. I laughed inwardly, the secret voyeur that I was. The ‘short stop’ of the two ladies spent longer having her picture taken. She was ‘yay’ tall, a sub 5 foot, a skinny mini. I was salacious to her siren call. The Mexican parrot handler arranged the parrot so that the cute blonde could rock it like a baby. This parrot was a Red-lored variety, common to Mexico’s rainforest. It was accompanied by a Red crowned Amazon. Two beautiful birds, for two beautiful ‘birds’. I surmised these two could have been university age, on spring break perhaps? I don’t know the timings for all that jazz. They were only around for 2–3 days so, just a long weekend by the looks of it.
My regret was I never approached these ladies afterwards. I had two golden opportunities just to politely say hello but I decided not to. I decided to leave them be.
I postulate they may have liked my British accent, and I’m sure I could have said something funny but my tank was empty that trip….
They were blondes, and whilst I am open to any hair or skin colour, blonde is one of the rarer types. One of these beach treasures was taller than the other, if I was to place an age, I’d go mid-twenties, maybe a bit younger. Old enough.
Both were good physically, not overweight, slim-trim. I would guess pre-baby. The shorter of the pair would have been my ideal pick, mostly because she was gorgeous. The taller of the pair wasn't bad either. But I had not dispensed even a word, failed.
Those two weren't the only hot picks seen that 7 days in the sun. The two matching twins in identical bikinis was also manner from heaven. I was treated that holiday, I really was.
There was one particularly cracking blonde just allowing herself to allow the waves to lap against her mid-drift. Now, obviously she could have been doing what my late Uncle did one coastal trip, “Can you guess what I'm doing?” to which the answer would be “Yes Uncle” as he coloured the sea yellow. But why spoil the image?
So, Why Was My Tank Empty?
I am a year past a relationship, a purposely imposed celibacy of 1 calendar year. Served in full. I had been out of dating for a long time and just wasn't feeling it.
I went back on a dating site I had had some mild success with (albeit it didn't stick) after that holiday, but crashed and burned. It seems that a person of age 36 is past their prime, especially if they look tubs around the mid section.
My colleague had, what I class as, a random hookup on a similar trip out to Mexico about 6 months before me. He’d befriended and subsequently become entangled with a Californian. She had a lot of issues, personal ones. She had a debt of over $100,000 (student loans, car loans, and other mounting credit card debt). She was bi-polar. She had a obsessive compulsive disorder, and she was a spendaholic. If there was ever a cornucopia of red flags all laid out in a diorama of disaster, this was it. But my colleague was in need of poon, and poon he had aplenty. Until the big split after a whirlwind of 5 weeks.
Lonely in some degree,
But permits passive eye-banging. All the pleasantness of enjoying a beautiful woman without having to put up with the wrong kind of moaning when you get home.
I Don’t Resign To MGTOW…
Because it feels like missed opportunity,
But I do see the benefits.
Onwards and upwards, said the Vicar……