Tel Aviv Jerusalem Ad Girl
And Why She Has My Hand in Spirit
Stories are what Medium is made for so it brings me pleasure to bring you one of truth. The sad thing is that just before the turn of my 36th birthday, I found myself single again…
Before I Explain More About my Sub Title
I first have to explain why I broke up with my girlfriend a week before her’s and my birthday.
The truth was that my girlfriend had severe trust issues. For the whole of 2016 I was not trusted.
Such was her level of envy, I felt guilty looking at anyone even moderately attractive, or making any off the cuff remark. I stopped looking, I stopped making remarks. I stopped being me.
It was insane.
Often I was treated like I had cheated on my girlfriend even though I’m the most loyal boyfriend you could have.
Towards the end of our relationship we’d stopped being intimate and it was very reminiscent of my relationship before her. In the end all we ever did was fight. I would drive her home and on 90% of the trips she would be crying.
I knew it was doomed and I knew it couldn’t carry on. She had ruined two of my Christmases and I couldn’t let her do that to a third. Christmas time for me is sacrosanct (and always will be).
My Liberation
I can finally look at hot girls again, say and think anything I want, and feel happy that I can feel and think anything I want, anytime.
I’m free of a controlling relationship.
I Can Look At a Girl’s Arse Cheeks and It’s Okay
No repercussions because what I keep to my own mind’s council is entirely mine.
I Can Say That In My Mind “Your Peach Beautiful Bottom is Divine”
Because it is divine.
And for a Few Seconds I Can Believe That Smile is for Me
Because I can dream.
I Can Start Looking Again Out of My Car Window
And marvel at those nice pins on show this summer.
I Can Be Me Again
Content that on some occasions the inner cave man’s heart is still beating.
I Still Hurt
Because 2 years 9 months is a portion of life I assigned to her.
But I Am Free
To watch whatever I like on TV.
Pause live TV for a few seconds when a stray tit is on show and grin a boyish grin. Former President Barack Obama can demonstrate below.
And feel relaxed when I go out on a trip not having to modify my behaviour.
What I’ve Always Said Is
I am honour bound to assess good looking women.
But I don’t base a relationship on looks, like I wouldn’t solely buy a book based on the cover.
An ‘Incident’ That Stuck With Me On the Tumultuous Control Saga
Was when I was innocently watching a YouTube video on a Mass Effect Andromeda Fan’s take of some pre-release information.
It happened to be a woman.
A good looking woman.
I had to explain for 20 minutes.
I had to go through the usual bullshit I have to go through in defusing a live bomb with a pair of tweezers and some chewing gum.
As usual, it sucked balls, big hairy ones.
Featured Above is Gamer MD 83. She was to blame for that infraction of the angry girlfriend encounter’s act. I would classify her in the nicest possible way as “bang tidy”, but that classification is normally what I keep to myself. I go back to her videos, not because she is proverbially “bang tidy”, but because I enjoy the content of her videos. The fact that she is proverbially “bang tidy” is an additional bonus in my video watching enjoyment. She is “bang tidy” but that’s not why I like her. You dig?
For info, the terminology “Bang Tidy” originates from television comedian Lee Francis aka Keith Lemon (pictured below). His sense of humour appeals to me on many levels. Which is incidentally, ultimately why, my ex-girlfriend and I weren’t a good match.
I Think Back On How Her Antics Ruined Our Expensive Trip to New York
And how that was meant to be a fun event.
You know, this thing called “fun”. Capital F motherfucker!
It is the opposite of having to watch a person when you are out lest you get this stare that tells you that you’ve done wrong when you weren’t even looking that way for fuck’s sake.
We Saw the Blue Man Group There
It was awesome.
But When She Saw the Woman Trying To Hustle Some Interest In Purchasing Tickets for the Chicago Musical in Times Square
With minimal clothing akin to the kind of performance on show…
She went nuts.
With the boringly predictable outcome….
Another day ruined. Another day retold to me. Another bullet in her ammunition zinging past my ear.
FFS!
That Tel Aviv/Jerusalem Ad Girl Gives Me Hope
That by some small chance there isn’t an insane woman out there, who doesn’t get insecure every time a beautiful woman pops up out of the blue. A person who is happy in her own skin, a woman who doesn’t revel in the hypocrisy of looking at other men whilst chastising me for looking at other women.
Thank you Shir Elmaliach-Cohen. She’s a strapping girl, but she’s married. Sorry dudes.
Praise be Google Images.
Now Let Me Open Another Bottle of Fizzy Bubblech
Alternatively this lady can….
